Arsene Wenger is actually an Indian!!!!!!!!!! Part I. Guide to Arsenal Transfer Window

Indians are the Masters of Jugaad

Jugaad (alternatively Juggaar) is a colloquial Hindi-Urdu word that can mean an innovative fix or a simple workaround, used for solutions that bend rules, or a resource that can be used as such, or a person who can solve a complicated issue. It is used as much to describe enterprising street mechanics as for political fixers. This meaning is often used to signify creativity to make existing things work or to create new things with meager resources.

No explanations needed here.

Masters of Jugaad

Masters of Jugaad

Arsene Wenger has some innovative and amazing conversions. Robin Van Persie, Kolo Toure and Thierry Henry conversions were stroke of a Genius. Many other conversions cannot be considered as a genius move, they are just Jugaads. There are so many examples of his Jugaad work in terms of transfers, loan, formation and player positions. Yossi Benayoun on loan from Chelsea, Playing Arshavin as a main striker, Ramsey as Right Back and Of course playing anyone at Left wing. Starting from Nasri to Ozil, almost every player played on the Left wing, Arsene even played Lord Bendtner at Right wing. Getting a player on Loan from Chelsea and finishing above them in the league, now that is called a real Jugaad.

There are countless examples to prove that Arsene Wenger is a real master of Jugaads. Re-signing Sol, Flamini, Thierry etc….. Bow to our Jugaad Master.

 Bargain sale in a Shopping Mall

Indians are cheap, but the current boom in the IT sector has made them open then wallets and credit cards quite often. The boom has not changed everything. Shopping in huge shopping malls and branded stores has become a regular activity. Still, there is a small difference. We go to the Luxury Branded store in a mall and walk straight to the clearance or discount sale section instead of New arrivals. When the whole world is queued up for the release of the any new apple product, Indians will be looking if there is any bargain deals available for Samsung or other Android phones during the time of Apple release.

Arsenal fans were calling and praying for Arsene Wenger to sign Mario Gotze in 2012. Arsene Wenger went to the red hot super mall of talents. He went to Borussia Dortmund and bought Thomas Eisfeld at a clearance sale in January 2012. There were so many great players in BvB.  Arguments can be made for the number of players available for sale, but look at the number of players that left BvB. It was the same case with Gervinho when Hazard was available.

Chinese Phones and Indians

India is a huge market for Chinese Gadgets. To the extent we go on comparing a Chinese mobile to a branded mobile is unimaginable. This is a common scenario in offices when Videocon and few other companies introduced their own Chinese phones. Touch Screen, Dual Sim, Battery and the most important thing price. The Chinese phones looked really like a shiny new toy at the beginning. People went on and on about the features and advantages of their new toy. How intelligent, they were to buy those for cheap instead of paying huge sum just for a mobile phone. It only takes six months to understand the reliability and the actual cost of the phone. Only after six months we realize that it’s not easy to sell a second hand chinese mobile

Arsene Wenger has done the same. Chamakh, Bendtner, Park, Santos, Sanogo etc… The bargain buy list is almost endless. Arsenal fans understand the financial constraints at Arsenal, but Arsene Wenger went over board with his 50millions striker and quality players. Just like the Chinese phones it only took six months to realize the real potential of our Chinese level players. Most of them failed and Arsene really struggled to ship many of them out because of the fat contracts. Its understandable that certain bargain buys does not work, but to justify the quality on every interview was really embarrassing. Most of the players who left could not even prove themselves in lower EPL teams or in any other inferior leagues Where is Chamakh, Denilson, Bendtner, Park, Santos?????????

Exams Vs Deadline Day

That is called Studying

That is called Studying

Either it is project work or any exams, Indians tend to leave plenty of work incomplete during the final stages of the project or any other work in general. The clock ticks much faster for Indians on the day before the delivery of any project or Examination. The amount of work done in a few days before the deadline day is much larger compared to the work done during the initial days of the project. In the end they are good at achieving the bare minimum, i.e. pass mark or delivering a project with some bugs.

That is called Signing

That is called Signing

Managers like Alex Ferguson, Jose Mourinho, Pep Gaudiola etc… Dive into the market much earlier and make the necessary purchase much earlier. They tend to bully the seller and get the job done. The top clubs and managers sweep the creamy layer much earlier leaving the scraps for the rest. Although Arsenal is one of the top clubs in Europe, the attitude of Arsene Wenger is just like an Indian Engineering Student.

Arsene - The EngineerThis Article was written to have some fun. Don’t think too much, just make some comparisons Indians you might laugh yourselves.