Arsene Wenger is actually a Middle Class Indian!! Part II

This Article is for Fun only. Do not read it seriously.

FFP and Corruption
Indians do not bother about the corruption at the smallest level. Driving offences, paying for the Government Doctor, Passport verification, traffic violation, government offices, donations to schools, Real estate black money, buying without bills etc… The list is endless. Generally, no one challenges it. All they care about is getting away from huge actual fines or to get their job done quietly. They are ready to pay bribes in smaller amount instead of paying huge actual fines or following the rules. When someone does the same corruption at the bigger level people get agitated and talks about it everywhere. They slam, curse, criticize, blame and abuse, etc. Indians predominantly use the Social media for such abuse only.
The Financial constraint placed upon Arsene Wenger has made him the chief promoter of Financial Fair Play (FFP). Arsene was very vocal in his support for FFP, but that did not stop Arsene from selling his players for inflated prices to his rich rivals. Arsenal being a selling club during this period made lots of money selling some of the players for a ridiculous amount of money. Only when it came to buying new players, Arsene started to moan about the inflated market and irresponsible spending of other clubs. Although Arsene did not buy any established starts until recently, he still continued to spend money on potential youngsters. Some of the young and mediocre players were on the ridiculous amount of salary. Arsene bought several teenagers around the world at inflated prices and paid them huge sum. The flat salary scale benefitted largely the average players and kids. High profile stars left Arsenal but Arsene was complaining about FFP every time some big clubs stole a player. Do not forget, Arsenal always had a big squad with huge wage bills.
Arsene Wenger is a perfect middle class Indian. He does everything as per the rule, nothing illegal.

Very good Savings, poor investing and very bad marketing
Indians are very good at saving money. Indians tend to manage their expenses within their income levels. The overdraft option in the bank accounts is rarely used by Indians. Recently the usage of credit cards has changed our attitudes towards saving, but traditional Indian families are experts in saving money. Indians make mistakes when it comes to investing and marketing. Real estate, Penny Stocks, ULIP’s etc. are real examples of the poor choice of investments. Most branded shirts were made in South India, but successfully marketed by somebody else. Indian manufacturing sectors are a real feeder for big marketing companies.

Arsene Wenger is brilliant in terms of saving money. He is very conservative in his approach and avoids high level risks. He always managed to spend within the allocated budget. Just like the Indians, Arsene did make many poor investments. Too many penny stock players like Bendtner, Diaby, Chamakh, Denilson, Park, Djourou, Gervinho, Ryo, Wellington, Silvestre, Squillachi, Santos etc.. Although these players cost less, the cumulative salary of these players is massive and it’s a purely waste of Arsenal’s time and money. Players like Modric, Andy Carroll, Bale, Suarez, Torres, Downing, Lescott etc. were purchased by bigger clubs at inflated prices. Arsene did sell many players for profit but none of them were sold at an inflated price. Ronaldo too wanted to quit Man U but Fergie made Real Madrid pay for him. Cesc Fabregas, RVP, Nasri etc. Were sold at reasonable or fair prices, but none of them were sold for crazy money.

Praying mantis style

I am a Big Guy

I am a Big Guy

There is a huge gap between the rich and poor in India. Labours are generally not treated well. Office Assistants, Tea lady, Cleaners and many other manual labourers are not treated equally. People are respected based on their pay grade. Indians tend to bully the smaller guys. Their attitude completely changes when they enter the Boss cabin or when any higher authority is around.

Arsene does the same to smaller selling clubs. Many teenagers are signed for from smaller clubs. Arsene never showed any spine or fight when a big club come in with big money offers for any important player. Selling RVP to MAN U was a real shock to all fans. To add insult to the injury RVP won the farewell title for Fergie. Bulling small guys and rolling the tail to a bigger guy. Much explanation not needed, Arsenal humiliates smaller teams with some great artistic football, but gets bullied by every major club.

Few other Similarities

  • Succeeds away from home and fails at home. Arsene Wenger is successful in England and Japan than Monaco.
  • Surviving Indian – Less Chance of getting fired even while under performing
  • New Rich Indian – Buying iPhone and covering it with a 100Rs. Case. Playing RVP and Cesc along with Alumnia, Chamakh, Denilson etc.
  • Indian Government Employee – Believing your own hype and experience. Arsene Wenger said “Very few can teach me about football management”. Almost every government employee close to their retirement will use the same exact words.
  • Loyal Indian – Loyalty to the Employer.
  • Lack of Killer Instinct – Indians are too soft on their rivals. They always tend to be fair and try to play by textbook rules.

Arsene Wenger is actually an Indian!!!!!!!!!! Part I. Guide to Arsenal Transfer Window

Indians are the Masters of Jugaad

Jugaad (alternatively Juggaar) is a colloquial Hindi-Urdu word that can mean an innovative fix or a simple workaround, used for solutions that bend rules, or a resource that can be used as such, or a person who can solve a complicated issue. It is used as much to describe enterprising street mechanics as for political fixers. This meaning is often used to signify creativity to make existing things work or to create new things with meager resources.

No explanations needed here.

Masters of Jugaad

Masters of Jugaad

Arsene Wenger has some innovative and amazing conversions. Robin Van Persie, Kolo Toure and Thierry Henry conversions were stroke of a Genius. Many other conversions cannot be considered as a genius move, they are just Jugaads. There are so many examples of his Jugaad work in terms of transfers, loan, formation and player positions. Yossi Benayoun on loan from Chelsea, Playing Arshavin as a main striker, Ramsey as Right Back and Of course playing anyone at Left wing. Starting from Nasri to Ozil, almost every player played on the Left wing, Arsene even played Lord Bendtner at Right wing. Getting a player on Loan from Chelsea and finishing above them in the league, now that is called a real Jugaad.

There are countless examples to prove that Arsene Wenger is a real master of Jugaads. Re-signing Sol, Flamini, Thierry etc….. Bow to our Jugaad Master.

 Bargain sale in a Shopping Mall

Indians are cheap, but the current boom in the IT sector has made them open then wallets and credit cards quite often. The boom has not changed everything. Shopping in huge shopping malls and branded stores has become a regular activity. Still, there is a small difference. We go to the Luxury Branded store in a mall and walk straight to the clearance or discount sale section instead of New arrivals. When the whole world is queued up for the release of the any new apple product, Indians will be looking if there is any bargain deals available for Samsung or other Android phones during the time of Apple release.

Arsenal fans were calling and praying for Arsene Wenger to sign Mario Gotze in 2012. Arsene Wenger went to the red hot super mall of talents. He went to Borussia Dortmund and bought Thomas Eisfeld at a clearance sale in January 2012. There were so many great players in BvB.  Arguments can be made for the number of players available for sale, but look at the number of players that left BvB. It was the same case with Gervinho when Hazard was available.

Chinese Phones and Indians

India is a huge market for Chinese Gadgets. To the extent we go on comparing a Chinese mobile to a branded mobile is unimaginable. This is a common scenario in offices when Videocon and few other companies introduced their own Chinese phones. Touch Screen, Dual Sim, Battery and the most important thing price. The Chinese phones looked really like a shiny new toy at the beginning. People went on and on about the features and advantages of their new toy. How intelligent, they were to buy those for cheap instead of paying huge sum just for a mobile phone. It only takes six months to understand the reliability and the actual cost of the phone. Only after six months we realize that it’s not easy to sell a second hand chinese mobile

Arsene Wenger has done the same. Chamakh, Bendtner, Park, Santos, Sanogo etc… The bargain buy list is almost endless. Arsenal fans understand the financial constraints at Arsenal, but Arsene Wenger went over board with his 50millions striker and quality players. Just like the Chinese phones it only took six months to realize the real potential of our Chinese level players. Most of them failed and Arsene really struggled to ship many of them out because of the fat contracts. Its understandable that certain bargain buys does not work, but to justify the quality on every interview was really embarrassing. Most of the players who left could not even prove themselves in lower EPL teams or in any other inferior leagues Where is Chamakh, Denilson, Bendtner, Park, Santos?????????

Exams Vs Deadline Day

That is called Studying

That is called Studying

Either it is project work or any exams, Indians tend to leave plenty of work incomplete during the final stages of the project or any other work in general. The clock ticks much faster for Indians on the day before the delivery of any project or Examination. The amount of work done in a few days before the deadline day is much larger compared to the work done during the initial days of the project. In the end they are good at achieving the bare minimum, i.e. pass mark or delivering a project with some bugs.

That is called Signing

That is called Signing

Managers like Alex Ferguson, Jose Mourinho, Pep Gaudiola etc… Dive into the market much earlier and make the necessary purchase much earlier. They tend to bully the seller and get the job done. The top clubs and managers sweep the creamy layer much earlier leaving the scraps for the rest. Although Arsenal is one of the top clubs in Europe, the attitude of Arsene Wenger is just like an Indian Engineering Student.

Arsene - The EngineerThis Article was written to have some fun. Don’t think too much, just make some comparisons Indians you might laugh yourselves.

NO Free Agent or Loan : THIS IS ARSENAL. Start Building another Invincible team.

There was a rumour going around that Arsenal is looking for a 38 year old free agent. I have no idea about this player but it disgusts me to read something like that. Nikola Zigic has confirmed that there was contact from Arsenal regarding his signing. This is not just an agent talk. The player himself given the statement after the transfer window was closed. Are we really a big club? Why can’t we look for quality players instead of looking for bargain deals?

Arsene wenger sings the praises of Romelu lukaku and how Everton has done a fantastic job of signing him, then he goes and enquires about Zigic. Atleast we got welbeck now. What would have happened if ManU shut the door on us just like Jose Mourinho did with Demba Ba? we were just lucky to have Ozil and Welbeck. It was not a well planned strategy to get them. I guess we are used to it and little scared to come out.

We have survived the financial constraints set upon us due to Emirates stadium. We acted like mid table period during that period. Arsene wenger did a fantastic job in keeping us in the champions league with many average players. We waited for a year to get Chamakh. We were competing with Fulham for his signature. We could not even get Mark Schwarzer from Fulham. We lost all our world class players and traitors. Though I may not agree to all these transfers, I was given very good financial lessons from Ivan Gazidis and Arsene. We learned to live with it. We were sold a dream of becoming big players of Europe once again.

200px-Arsenal_FC.svgNo more hiding. Load the Cannon.

On and Off the pitch we were bullied. We had many shocking results against the big boys and even more shocking transfers.

At some point we need to come out of this mentality. Once we survive the world domination should be the next natural progress. We were led to believe it would happen with the new Puma deal. We started brightly in the transfer window and ended it in a familiar fashion. If our youth team is not able to provide a 4th choice defender better than some 38 year old Free agent, then seriously we failed in this transfer window.

We should have gone for some better defenders from top clubs. we should have got Carvalho or Nastasic or Manolas. At least we should have gone for Rio as 4th choice. If we need players then we need players.

We should not manage to win games anymore. We should win games. We should bully anyone at emirates. Emirates should become a scary place for any visiting team. That should be our goal. I hope we reach that level again soon. Its between a long time since we were invincible.

Sanogo scored two goals for France under21. I hope Arsene does not come out and blame the fans for his lack of goals at Arsenal. Don’t forget he did defend Gervinho with similar statement.



Danny Welbeck replaces the greatest striker on planet

Wow finally the transfer window for this summer is closed. We can stop following all the rumours and start supporting our beloved Arsenal team. I am tired of all the transfer stories and finding player videos in youtube. No more youtube videos of Sami Khedira, Cavani, Falcao, Kostas Monalos, Sokratis papa——–, Nastastic, Micah Richards, Remy, Benders, Howedes, Reus, Morgan Schneiderlin, Vela, Drmic, Mario, Rabiot etc……….. etc….. That is a long list. Most of the linked targets have made a move in this transfer window. Our rivals has done a good job of buying some great players. As always Arsenal feeds us with transfers of surprise and shock.

Its always a mixed feeling supporting Arsenal. We defeat Barca, Bayern Munich, AC Milan etc… that makes us go mad and also get defeated by Birmingham, Aston villa or any other relegation fighting team to test our patience. Transfer window does provide similar moments to us. It always starts with a surprise and ends with frustration. Some of the things in the transfer window always leave us scratching our head.

Barca DNA moving to chelski was the most surprised moved according to me. Barca gave its academy graduate a fitting farewell.

Like I have mentioned in my previous posts. Arsene has a definite plan and acts early. Once the initial activity is done the whole club just trolls media & fans. Gervinho, Koscielny, Vermaelen, Sanchez, Chambers, Sanogo etc.. were all part of the team building process. The final hours are just looking for bargain deals without any plan. Please don’t tell me Mesut Ozil was part of our plan. In Last summer transfer window we failed with every striker target and also failed to land Yohan cabaye. Ozil was the response to fans after the Aston villa game.

In this transfer window the club has done really well to purchase some established players. Sanchez, Ospina, Chambers, Debuchy and Welbeck are all very good addition to our squad. Remember Joel Cambell and Podolski are still part of our squad. You might disagree with me. This transfer window was really a change of direction. Generally Arsene replaces outgoing players with some youth players. This window was not that case. We really bought solid players. We also shipped lot of deadwood.

BendtnerWe will miss you? LOL

Ivan – ” We worked very hard on transfers” – TADA I give you “Danny Welbeck”. Thank you very much Ivan Gazidis for your hardwork all summer. Its really hard to replace one of the most confident striker in English premier league. Finally our Arsenal Scout team, Ivan and Managers have found the right man to replace the Greatest striker on the planet. You have big shoes to fill young man. Many arsenal fans would be gutted to lose one of the hardest working professional even known.

Arsenal has done very well in this transfer window.

Have we done better than our rivals? – Nope

Is our team good enough to win the EPL? I hope so.

Arsene ” We did not create enough ” – WTF we have 50 Millions Striker Sanogo.

Two wonderful stats from out disappointing draw with Leicester City FC.

  • 4 – Arsenal have conceded four goals from just five shots on target faced in the Premier League  so far.
  • Arsenal registered 24 shots on target yesterday.

Clearly we did not create enough for Sanogo to Score?

I cannot believe a man like Arsene saying “we did not create enough?” after seeing the match from the touchline. Was he talking about Arsenal or Leicester? Unbelievable comment just to protect his youth postman project. Like I have said before he is very loyal to his youth projects. English Premier league is always decided by one or two points at the end of the season. Throwing away few points due to lack of players at the beginning of August will never bring the EPL title to the Emirates. Why can’t we take every point seriously? We already dropped 4 points. We signed Ozil only after losing 3 valuable points against Aston Villa.

Arsene comparison of MCFC strikers to Arsenal is really embarrassing. Their backup striker Edin Dzeko is miles ahead of our main striker. Talking about strikers when was the last time we had a strike force which frightened the opposition. I hate to say this but RVP was the last striker who could frighten the opposition. He always frightened us too with his injury record and finally with his loyalty.

We do have a 50 Millions worth striker according to Arsene. Only now I am getting to know from where Arsene got this 50 Millions Evaluation. Its from Fernando Torres. But seeing Sanogo at our starting line up makes me to think about spending money on Torres. Someday Sanogo may become a frightening striker but currently he is frightening the Arsenal team only. All the creative magic from our amazing midfielders ends with Sanogo. This postman never delivers. Even Chamakh reached double figures due to our creative midfielders.

How does Santi and Ozil feel when they have to supply to Sanogo and Giroud? Cesc might have felt the same while feeding to Bendtner.

I am not going to talk much about the match as we know its the same story for a while. How can we not take seriously when we lose 4 points against Everton and Leicester?. Why are we not proactive? It always comes to the deadline day bargain deals? At least have we done well with our bargain deals. Nope is the answer.

Deadline DayDeadline Day deals of Super Super Quality?????

Arsenal fans were singing ” Sign the F***ing Striker” yesterday. I am not sure its the first time they are singing it. I always have one unanswered question regarding Arsenal Transfer policy.

Is it worth to sacrifice points and wait for Bargain deals?

Arsene Wenger and Panic Buys – Arsene’s Poker game

I am a huge admirer of  and his achievements at Arsenal Football Club. Congrats Arsene for reaching the champions league for the 17th consecutive time. Arsene has done some amazing business in recent years. Laurent Koscielny is one of recent examples of his successful business. Arsene and Arsenal follows a very familiar trend is transfer market. Sometimes it looks like he is very good at transfer poker game, but I beg to differ. Transfer window is a familiar story for arsenal fans.

Arsenal Transfer Window
Step 1 : Hype and talk about Arsenal’s Financial Strength
Step 2 : Atleast one Surprise Signing
Step 3 : Poker Game and Panic Buys
End : Frustration

Thomas Vermaelen, Laurent Koscielny, Giroud, Sanchez, Yaya Sonago, Gervinho etc are bought at the beginning of the transfer window. Only these players are planned and bought immediately. Often these players do not match the initial financial hype from Arsenal apart from Sanchez. Arsene buys very early for his squad requirement or replacement. Once this is done the poker game and panic buys of Arsene begins.
Last year’s transfer window clearly exposed Arsene’s inability to play poker.

RVP was not replaced so Arsenal was chasing a striker. According to Arsene transfer strategy the expected and planned striker was yaya sonago. That is the fact. I still cannot understand why we were chasing Jovetic, Higuain and suarez. Finally we ended buying no one. Arsene Poker game failed miserably when we could not even get Demba Ba on loan. Kim Kallstorm exposed Arsene’s expert level in poker game.
The failure to purchase a striker was masked by the calibre of our panic buy i.e the best 10 in the world. The panic buys are due to our poor performance rather than reinforcing quality to the squad Aston Villa and Man-united comes to our mind immediately.

This has been the case of several years. Even in this transfer window it’s the same story. There was a huge hype at the beginning and bought Sanchez to match the hype. Once Sanchez deal was done the requirement and replacements began with Ospina, Chambers and Debuchy. These players are not new signings they were just bought to replace Fabianski, Vermaelen and Sagna. Even I still believe Sanchez was bought because of the Injury of Theo Walcott.

The transfer window is not closed yet. What can we expect from this transfer window? I hope we might buy a striker because of Giroud’s Injury. But honestly knowing Arsene’s transfer strategy we should expect Sébastien Squillaci level player coming in as CB.